Thank You

My Greatest Blessing Calls Me Mom 

I wanted to stop for a minute today and say thank you to all of those who have shared my page this week as May is Pediatric Stroke Awareness month.  The smile on my face does not mean my life is perfect, or that tears have not or do not fall, but I appreciate all I have and that includes you!  If you took me back ten years (or insert a number I have no idea really) I would have never imaged my life playing out the way it has in many ways, but I am thankful for my struggles, because without them I would have never stumbled across my strength!  My story has brought so many amazing friends, therapists, moms, co-workers and many more people into my life that I feel overwhelmingly blessed today.  I have learned that comparison in life is a dark trap.  I have a quote saved in my phone that says "Be Obsessively Grateful".  While some days this is harder than others ... I am sure I am not alone here ... I love the days when I choose to be this.  Back around Thanksgiving I wrote a blog that basically said the more grateful we are the more blessed we feel, and I know it is true.  I want to leave you with a simple thought today: "A Grateful Heart Is A Magnet For Miracles".  Thank you again for your support and friendship.  I hope you find a little encouragement when you drink your coffee and read my blog, or wind down for the evening with your computer on your lap.  

Check back for a May Give A Way!  It will be worth entering!

Pediatric Stroke Awareness Month

May is pediatric stroke awareness month!  This subject is near and dear to my heart and I hope you will share in my passion to spread awareness that strokes can happen at any age, to anyone!  Many individuals have no knowledge of this medical complication until it closely affects them personally or someone that they love.  I believe we can change that!  I have written about pediatric stroke awareness before and back then I used the following quote, which I still love!  

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can change the world.  Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."  - Margaret Mead- 

I love this brave little boy!

Like many people I meet and share my story with, I was unaware that a child, let alone an infant or an unborn baby could have a stroke.  The news was shocking when a perfect (by medical standards - not my own), healthy pregnancy ended up in an emergency c-section and hours later my husband and baby were being transferred miles away from me to the closest NICU.  A few months later we took Lincoln back to Mayo Clinic in Rochester looking for answers, and were told that our sweet baby boy had indeed experienced a stroke in utero.  

I am inviting and asking all of those I love and know to wear the color purple throughout the month of May and to send me photos of you and your family in the color so I can add you to my page!  I also encourage you to share the information on Facebook, Instagram, or wherever you feel it might be seen. I know it is easy to live our daily lives, with the blessings of health and healthy children -- as we should, however, this isn't the case for everyone.  While I am so blessed myself and forget that tragedy happens when things are going well -- I meet a lot of people who appreciate and love support.  I have made amazing friends because of what we have been through and support is powerful!  Knowledge is also power, and just because the topic at hand does not affect you personally, does not mean that it isn't someone else's reality, possibly someone you even know!  

Key Chain Charm

I have pediatric stroke awareness key chain charms available!  If you would like one, please comment below or message me and I will drop one in the mail for you!  I am not asking for anything in return other than your help to raise awareness and show your support!  

Click the link to download a free color page for your kiddos!

There is so much growth needed in the awareness avenue regarding the topic!  I wanted to re-visit some of the basic facts with you all.

A Few Facts

• Strokes can occur before birth, in infants, children and young adults
• Risk of stroke is highest in the first year of life and peaks during the perinatal period (a few weeks before and after birth)
• Occurrence - 1 in every 2800 live births (this is likely underestimated)
• Sixty percent of infants with a stroke diagnosis have specific symptoms such as seizures in the first three days of life
• Forty percent of infants will have no symptoms and the stroke is recognized later with delays in movement, development or seizures.  (This was Lincoln, diagnosed later even though he spent time in the NICU with complications.  We just did not know the extent of them despite multiple tests being performed.)

Cause

• In most cases, like ours, the cause is unknown

My Baby Isn't Using One Hand

• Hand preference should not be determined or noticeable before the age of one year and often much later than that.  So a child who favors one hand, leaves the other hand in a fist, or doesn't bring both hands together during play needs to be referred for further testing.
• Delays in early milestones -- rolling, sitting, pulling to stand, crawling and walking -- are additional reasons for evaluation.
• This is a common reason or first sign that families notice.  (With Lincoln hand preference at just months old is what prompted us to go back to Mayo Clinic.)

Ways of Diagnosing

• Magnetic Resonance Imaging (MRI)
• Ultrasound
• Electroencephalogram (EEG) if seizures are suspected
• Electrocardiogram (ECG or EKG) performed if a heart problem is present or suspected, often associated with strokes
• Blood samples to check for blood clotting disorders. 
• Other tests may be performed outside this list depending on the patients needs

Therapy

Children often receive multiple therapies for long periods of time -- some even decades or as long as needed.  Therapies may include (but are not limited to) occupation, physical and speech therapy to help them learn skills for daily living and to increase movement.  

CIMT Birmingham Alabama - Week 3

Monday - In true Monday fashion Lincoln was excited and ready to see Jackie this morning.   He almost took out another child as he ran towards her, but deep down we are both grateful he is still happy to be at therapy.  Lincoln worked hard today and we continue to work on pointer and pincher grasps.   Tuesday - Well I knew this day was coming -- but today was melt down city!  And melt some more, and some more.  Ha ha, laugh so you don't cry right?  It was very obvious to Jackie and myself today that Lincoln was mentally exhausted.  He slept good last night, so the physical aspect was OK, but the little things were very upsetting to him and today we just did what we could, which was not a lot.  Today was dog therapy so Lincoln did enjoy that and calm down some which was a nice break.  Music therapy was today as well, but we let Susan move on as the harp did not seem to be helping.  We ended our day by swinging in the gym and chatting.  Lincoln has worked extremely hard for two weeks with very little argument or episodes, which at three is very good.  Hoping for a great rest of the week!  

On a positive note - we were able to make a nighttime splint today that will help Lincoln stretch while he is sleeping.  I am excited to try this and see if it makes a difference in his forearm rotation (supination).  

Wednesday - Another great, productive day in therapy! Since it is our last week, we are focusing a lot on using thumb and pointer.  Today Lincoln got to play with Duncan (4 yr) who started this week.  They enjoyed a little break while still working.  Duncan has older brothers so he was more competitive than Lincoln at the checker launch, but Lincoln was thrilled to try something new.  Stevie the therapy dog stopped by today and showed us a new puzzle, and then we ended today shopping for superhero and swinging!  I scheduled for next year today as well, so I guess unless something major changes we will be back!  

Thursday - Day 4 has come and gone and boy did we have fun today!  Last night I was able to test the new brace for his right hand and he seemed to tolerate it well until around 5 am when he asked for it off.  It is to help with his supination and I am really hoping for a positive outcome over other alternatives.  

Therapy started a little slow as Lincoln was able to remove his cast last night but had to put it on for half of therapy today.  However, he adapted well and worked hard.  Today Duncan and Lincoln rode bikes to the park and Lincoln was able to have his cast off for good!  At the park he swung a bat and hit a ball quite a few times.  He honestly looked very natural for a three year old and my heart was bursting as it is the little things in life that make me proud.  I do not care if he ever plays baseball but if he wants to I want him to! 

Jackie explained that once the cast comes off the left hand, the right hand may regress a little, and encouraged me to continue working with right hand tonight.  We went to the McWane Science Center after therapy one last time today and now we are home resting, packing and getting ready to head home tomorrow!  Plus, mommy is SUPER EXCITED to dump Lincoln in the bath tub!  You guys have no idea how hard it is to only sponge bathe a toddler for 3 weeks.  Plus if your child has ever had a cast you know how much they stink!  

Friday - Skipping this update because after therapy we are headed straight to the airport!  However, if I was to post, I know it would be telling you about the rock wall Lincoln will climb tomorrow as he has been promised the entire 3 weeks of therapy he can do it the last Friday we are here!  Lincoln and I did not want to spend another night without daddy and are looking forward to being home.  Say a prayer for us that the flights go smoothly and we make our short layover. 

Thank you to everyone who has followed this journey!  The journey does not end here, as there will be tons of work at home, and we have decided to schedule again for next year already --  which means homework for the year as well!  CIMT in Birmingham is very well known and the spots fill up fast.  For those who wonder if it works, I do believe it is beneficial in training the brain.  The reality is three weeks will not change him dramatically without the continuous effort -- but even as adults unless we practice, or work out everyday, study etc .. we don't change either.  I am heading home with the mentality that has to be a lifestyle for Lincoln and myself and we can try to make it as fun as possible!  Feel free to message me with questions, comments etc.  I have worked very hard over the past few years to channel the emotions surrounding my son into something that can make a difference.  If this helps even one person, than we have succeeded together!  

Different Ideals of Beauty

If only our eyes saw

souls instead of bodies ...

how very different our

ideals of beauty would be.

 I pondered this quote when I initially saved it.  It touched my heart but I wasn't sure to what depth or exactly why.  Usually when something stirs me so deeply it is for a reason.  I realized today what that reason was.  We live in a culture of judgment!  Oh how we judge, when we shouldn't.  People are beautiful.  Behind the outside shell of a body lies souls that are brave, courageous, and strong.  

I spent today in Chattanooga TN, and I want to share two very different interactions with you that I experienced.  I walked into a restaurant with my 3 year old son around noon, hungry and tired from a train ride this morning.  He has a bright red cast on his left arm as many of you know if you follow that we have been in Alabama for two weeks of therapy.  One week to go - yahoo!  A family of three were sitting at a table as we entered and I listened as they had a conversation about his cast for at least 5 minutes.  Yes, I could hear them, and yes as a mother I wanted to walk right over and ask them if they'd like to see it, ask me about it or talk to my sweet little boy -- instead I stood my ground while they took turns commenting and turning to stare.  My parenting was defined by them for the cast he wore, and his sweet personality was missed as they only saw the material on his arm.  Let me tell you what they didn't see.  A mother who has been working hard with a toddler for two weeks in therapy, forcing him to do things that are SO hard, asking him to work harder when he has nothing left and falls asleep in the car, and then asking him to do more when he wakes up from his nap.  I see a little boy out of his element, away from his preschool and his daddy.  I see a little boy who every morning asks to play more games with Jackie - a girl he just met but makes work fun for him.  I see the progress he has made and the success and pride I feel over being his mother.  That's just him!  What they don't see while I held him today waiting for a table are the tears that fall over the fact that I have received multiple comments over that stupid red cast, and the heartache I feel that he even had to come to Alabama for therapy in the first place.  If I had a dollar for everyone who thinks he broke it or told him to be more careful when we are out and about I would be rich.  They don't see the failure I have been when my patience wears thin after long days these past two weeks and the moments where I have to take a deep breath.  They don't see the bravery it takes to smile at them and pretend they didn't comment in the first place, or the strength to practice grace.  They don't see my soul.  They see a mom with a little boy they assumed has a broken arm.

At the same restaurant, my son and I were now seated and he was tired, not loving being confined while we waited for our food and was yes - whining.  A man walked over to my table and said "can I show him something?" ... of course at first it seemed odd as he had his water in his hand but I said yes, because the distraction wouldn't hurt anything, and I really didn't mind.  He had taken the paper from his straw and crinkled it up ... remember this as a kid?  As he set it in front of my son memories of straw snakes fled back, and as he dropped water on the paper the snake grew!  He then set four straws on my table and said ... I have four kids, hes doing great.  I almost didn't know what to say.  I thanked him, and Lincoln and I made four more snakes grow.  He didn't comment once about the red cast.  He saw a mom who was trying, and a son who was unhappy and he seized the moment to show empathy and kindness.  I believe he saw beauty.  

I want to tell you I can share a million stories of beauty with you.  In three years of being in and out of children's hospitals, therapy and working at Mayo Clinic, I have seen broken hearts, children with physical impairments, unfair diagnosis young and old, I've cried with patients and moms -- and as I write this tonight with tears falling I urge you to open up your eyes the next time you see someone struggling, a child in a wheelchair, or with bracing, an elderly person with a walker, a mother losing her patience -- the list could go on and on and on.  Whatever the situation, don't be so quick to judge.  I want to leave you pondering this post with a story of a little girl who can't walk that we met these last few weeks -- her grandpa brings her to therapy so she can strengthen areas and her smile lights up a room.  Everyone knows her, talks to her, and comments about her smile.  Yes, she sits in a chair, doesn't say anything but boy can she smile.  She is absolutely beautiful, the apple of her grandpas eye and a true testament to every reason I despise judgment.

Quick Update

Thank you for all the love and support I've received the past couple days with well wishes and safe travels for my family!  Lincoln and I made it to Alabama safely and in one piece!  The first flight my beloved toddler was an angel.  He even fell asleep for a while which reminded me of the old days when we traveled a couple times a month.  Our layover in Dallas was uneventful, we had time for lunch and Lincoln enjoyed some ice cream.  The second flight however, reminded me why I quit flying as much from 2-3, ha ha, I secretly cannot wait for 4 years old!  My angel turned demon, spilling a drink and crying for ten minutes while we landed over having to wear his seat belt.  In those moments I want to cry myself but as most people know that does no good, so I smiled at those around me and assured him we were almost there.  I do want to take a moment to share that in three years of flying with my son more miles than I can count, I have been very lucky to have amazing people around me ... from spectrum's of parents who understand, grandparents who entertain, strangers who help break down a stroller or pick up your baggage ... let's give a shout out to all those who have been in our shoes and may we always remember if we travel without our kids to be just as kind and understanding as we appreciate people being to us!  After the airport our evening was uneventful with finding our apartment and grocery shopping at Walmart.  We are hunkered in for the evening and look forward to exploring more tomorrow!  I am happy to report I passed a mall and a Starbucks five minutes away from where we are staying!  I plan to post weekly updates of Lincoln's progress for anyone interested.  I have mixed emotions headed into Monday as we will be spending three weeks without daddy/my husband, in a new place, but I am so grateful to be able to experience the Children's of Alabama therapy with my son.  I believe in progressive medicine and I believe in him.

Headed to Alabama

When I think of places to travel and things I want to see -- I don't know that Alabama ever came to mind.  I chuckle when I think of Reese Witherspoon in Sweet Home Alabama as she tells her friends in NYC that she cannot meet them because she's in "Alabama" -- said with a sarcastic, disgusted tone.  Side note: if you have not seen the movie, you should!  It's a great chick flick! However, I am excited to go to Birmingham, Alabama.  Lincoln and I will be spending one month at Children's of Alabama for Constraint Induced Movement Therapy in February 2017.  My husband and I have spent hours reading, researching, and learning the past 3 years and are always trying to give Lincoln the opportunities in life he deserves.  We both have looked into the program in Alabama in the past but set the idea aside due to life being busy or the timing not being right.  Now we are making the appointment a reality, and I am so excited!  Working at Mayo Clinic I believe in top quality care, innovation and being the best of the best.  The program at Children's of Alabama is known for being just that!

What Is CIMT? CIMT stands for Constraint Induced Movement Therapy.  A number of treatments are given to teach the brain to "rewire" itself following a major injury such as a stroke or head injury.  The research completed by Edward Taub, PHD and the University of Alabama at Birmingham showed that patients can "learn" to improve the ability to move the weaker parts of their bodies.  Allowing them to use both sides of the extremities and not only rely on the stronger extremity.  It is the only rehabilitation technique shown to produce a noticeable change in brain organization and function.  In simple terms, we are hoping that Lincoln will be able to use both hands/arms together to make everyday things easier for him.

How Does It Work? Lincoln will work with an occupational therapist for 3-4 hours per day x 3 weeks.  His stronger arm (left arm) will be completely restrained using a cast extending from the upper shoulder down to the fingertips.  The weaker arm (right arm) is then trained using play situations appropriate to the child's stage of development.  Lincoln will be 3 years of age when he does this.  At age 1, we completed a shorter version of CIMT at Gillette Children's in Minnesota and saw results.  Of course like anything in life, therapy and progress does not end when we leave Alabama.  As his mom, I am fully prepared to continue my role with therapy, and know that it will take endless dedication and practice at home as well.

Why Put Him Through It? I never dreamt of being a therapy mom when I thought about having a child.  I never even thought about the possibility my child would need it.  Some days I want to cancel all of our appointments and let him play how he wants, and just be a kid.  Then I remember that everything I am doing is for his well being and future.  I watch him play and work hard in therapy and for now can see that he doesn't know the difference.  If this can help him stay healthy and be stronger, then I will dedicate my time to his well being just as I take time everyday for myself to do things that better me such as the gym, eating healthy, etc.

How Have I Changed From CIMT The First Time? Emotionally I am a stronger person and in a better place.  I have accepted the diagnosis and am Lincoln's biggest advocate.  At one year of age, people constantly asked me how he broke his arm (because he was casted) and the looks I received while they asked often made me feel like an awful mother, even though I knew I wasn't.  I truly did not know how to handle the judgment.  I have been judged before myself, but when it involves your child, it is a completely different feeling.  This time around I am excited for us.  I am sharing with others so they can understand more about pediatric strokes and understand therapy.  I believe the world needs more optimism and awareness on many issues and I happen to be passionate about this one!  Have a question??  Please feel free to comment below and I am more than happy to answer.

Fun Things To Do In Birmingham Having spent a lot of time traveling with Lincoln since he was small, one thing I try to do as a mom is make the most of our trips.  We love visiting zoos, science centers, the children's museum, parks, take walks and simply explore.  We have already started a list of adventures that we will tackle on the weekends and days he isn't too tired from therapy.  I want Lincoln to see the world through his own eyes.  Yes I realize he is 3, but therapy is A LOT of HARD work, and he deserves to have fun too!  

Pediatric Stroke Awareness

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can change the world.  ​Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.” 

 Margaret Mead 

Like many people I meet and share my story with, I was unaware that a child, let alone an infant, or an unborn baby could have a stroke.  The news was shocking when a pediatric neurologist at Mayo Clinic looked me in the eyes and told me my son had experienced one.  There is so much growth needed in the awareness avenue regarding the topic that I wanted to start by sharing with you the basic facts!  Please note this is only the beginning of what happens and I hope to continue to share more in the future! 

A Few Facts

• Strokes can occur before birth, in infants, children and young adults

• Risk of stroke is highest in the first year of life and peaks during the perinatal period (a few weeks before and after birth)

• Occurrence - 1 in every 2800 live births (this is likely underestimated

• Sixty percent of infants with a stroke diagnosis have specific symptoms such as seizures in the first three days of life

• Forty percent of infants will have no symptoms and the stroke is recognized later with delays in movement, development or seizures. (This was Lincoln, diagnosed later even though he spent time in the NICU with complications. We just did not know the extent of them despite multiple tests being performed.)

Cause

• In most cases, like ours, the cause is unknown

My Baby Isn't Using One Hand

• Hand preference should not be determined or noticeable before the age of one year and often much later than that. So a child who favors one hand, leaves the other hand in a fist, or doesn't bring both hands together during play needs to be referred for further testing.

• Delays in early milestones -- rolling, sitting, pulling to stand, crawling and walking -- are additional reasons for evaluation.

• This is a common reason or first sign that families notice. (With Lincoln hand preference before at just months old is what prompted us to go back to Mayo Clinic.)

Ways of Diagnosing

• Magnetic Resonance Imaging (MRI)

• Ultrasound

• Electroencephalogram (EEG) if seizures are suspected

• Electrocardiogram (ECG or EKG) performed if a heart problem is present or suspected, often associated with strokes

• Blood samples to check for blood clotting disorders.

• Other tests may be performed outside this list depending on the patients needs

Therapy

Children often receive multiple therapies for long periods of time -- some even decades or as long as needed.  Therapies may include (but are not limited to) occupation, physical and speech therapy to help them learn skills for daily living and to increase movement.  

Therapy & Summer Breaks

I wanted to take a moment to encourage moms and families that summer is a great time to let your little one take a break!  I think a lot of "therapy moms" (or dads) feel the pressure to never miss a day, and make sure our children are always making progress, which is awesome and complete dedication.  However, our kids are still kids, and missing a day in the grand scheme of things, is not a big deal. Lincoln is 2.5 years old and making great strides.  I asked for some progress reports this last week, and he is saying tons of new words (speech), weight bearing and opening his hand more (OT), and our regular PT just came back from maternity leave and said she can definitely see that Lincoln has made good improvement while she was gone.  Of course this is an update in a nut shell, there are many things we are still working on daily and things we have planned for the future, but I am always pleased to hear that Lincoln listens well and tries very hard when he is in therapy.  

With that being said, I took some time to ask our therapy office what they do for summer breaks?  I wanted to make sure if I cancelled some appointments that I would not lose my regular time slots as I have worked hard to make my schedule fluid to Lincoln's therapy and our life.  I was extremely pleased to find out that they take people's home lives into consideration and make accommodations for those who may travel more in the summer (very common in AZ for families to leave for the hot summer months).  While I do not plan to take Lincoln out of therapy all summer, I do plan to play with him and enjoy some fun travel to cooler weather, the ocean maybe, back home to see friends, or wherever we decide to go!  

I encourage you to talk to your therapy office if you need time off.  Our therapists are realistic about life and feel that breaks here and there can be great for kids.  The three beautiful ladies we work with weekly are great and understanding!  As long as we are doing our therapy homework while we are not there, Lincoln will continue to succeed. 

Motherhood

I thought this quote was very powerful and wanted to share it. I did not plan on my Lincoln having disabilities or a brain injury, but he truly has been the greatest joy in my life and is teaching me daily!  So I fell in love with this ~ and I hope if you are struggling or wondering what if about your child, that this gives you encouragement! 

"Motherhood is about raising and celebrating the child you have, not the child you thought you would have.  It is about understanding he is exactly the person he's supposed to be.  And, if you are lucky, he might be the teacher who turns you into the person you're supposed to be."

The Water Giver

Special Thank You to a Stranger

Thank you to the lady at Starbucks for asking about my son!  He is amazing, and I was able to share that with you in our brief interaction.  Thank you for apologizing for being nosy!  I didn't feel you were intruding on my morning, you were curious and instead of staring you approached me.

As a mom I struggled putting Lincoln in the brace from day one of getting it.  I struggled even more when the weather changed in Arizona from pants to shorts temperatures.  People stare, wonder what happened, if he hurt his ankle, etc ... And in true human nature, I didn't like the vanity of it all.  As a mom I want to protect him from scrutiny, from judgment, and from cruelty.

But today you asked me why he had it and I thank you!  Because today I answered you with confidence -- no shame -- I answered you with strength.  I have learned people really don't know what bracing is for, or that strokes happen to children, and today I learned even more that I am healing.  You were shocked over my explanation and you weren't awkward, you smiled and told me I must be doing a great job -- that as mothers we go to any length for our babies.  You are right, we do, but you were genuine and sometimes even the bravest mothers need reassurance.  So again I sincerely thank you.

Lincoln is a happy, active toddler.  Most people don't see his challenges and for that I am grateful.  In the process of being a mom, I have experienced things I don't wish on anyone, but I have learned about myself as well.  I believe my son will live a happy, successful life.  And I believe as humans we are stronger than we give ourselves credit for.  

We may be strangers to the people we meet daily at a coffee shop, in line at a store, at the gym or many places in life, but you never know when your interaction may positively affect someone.  My interaction was a single reminder that the world needs more love and kindness, and today I truly appreciated a stranger.  

Allergy Season

I never dreamed when I had my son I would be in and out of therapy, have a neurologist, nephrologist, pediatrician, urologist and orthopedist ... but I do, and all for my one and only precious son!  My ideas of what having a child was like were tainted and we now live a completely different, yet very happy life!  I often think to myself if I had a dollar ... for every appointment, comment, or (fill in the blank). I'm sure as a mom you have thought that as well a time or two. Today we added a pediatric allergy specialist!  My son is 2!  Who even knew that 2 year olds could have allergies?!?  He was showing too many symptoms though so I made the appointment.  Multiple skin tests later (no crying involved, my boy was a true champ), Lincoln is very allergic to dogs and cats, and has multiple seasonal tree allergies.  Oh the joys!  

On days like these I go back to my mantra as a mom that knowledge is power!  In today's society not everyone has resources, time, or education to face new things that come up.  As you read this it may seem that I am a crazy, overprotective mom who takes her son to everyone under the sun.  I assure you, I am not and if I could let one specialist go a year as he progressively does better, I would!  I am however a realistic mom. One who knows for fact that we have been dealt multiple medical issues, and still moves through each day letting my son be a child.  Yes, we have allergies to the trees, but will he still play in the park by my house each week?  Absolutely!  I have armed myself with a medical team for the times in our lives where I need them desperately, and other moments I make the best decision as a "mom" for his life.  I really do believe that knowledge is power, and that being proactive will get my son further in life and development than being reactive when something new strikes us!

We lost our beautiful Rottweiler this last year, and now I know I may not own another one while my Lincoln is growing up.  Those sweet moments between them make me sad that he may not have a dog of his own, but that is why life is a beautiful thing!  Maybe he will own a turtle or something instead that I never even dreamed about!  Do not put limits on your children, no matter what you face as they grow!  Today we have specific allergies, tomorrow we go back to wiping runny noses adding in nasal spray and playing as hard as we always do!  

Special Treatment Is Not Necessary ~ A Smile Is

Lincoln and I were attending therapy the other morning, as we do weekly, and a little boy entered the waiting room in a wheel chair.  My son was mesmerized!  He obviously does not know what it really is, or understand the physical limitations that go along with having one, but I watched him closely as he stared ... and stared ... and stared.  I actually felt uncomfortable in that moment while he stood there eyes frozen on the sweet boy, so I encouraged Lincoln to say hi!  He waved and smiled and my discomfort subsided quickly as the boys shared a moment.  But the interaction brought out emotions in me!  I should not feel uncomfortable, and more importantly neither should the mother or the beautiful little boy!  I am sure my child is not the first to have stared at them, and he will not be the last but it prompted a fire in me ... as a whole, human beings have lost compassion or understanding, if someone is "different" we look at them strangely, stare, possibly turn away, or as awful as it feels to write .. laugh or make fun of them and not just children but adults can act this way as well! As mom's we only want the best for our children!  I am no different.  Someday when Lincoln is older and understands more, I want to teach him how to love others the best possible way!  The reaction to things or people that are different from us, starts with an adult.  Children can learn to be compassionate just as they can learn to be cruel.  I have learned a lot in the last two years about how important that really is, sure I always knew how to be kind, but when the shoe is on the other foot, it becomes more personal.

These are just a few things to think of when you see a child who may have special needs or a disability:

Treat him/her with respect -- Children with special needs are human beings too.  Wonderful, lovable and worthy of respect just like anyone else, sometimes more!  If you see someone mocking or making fun of, explain why it is not kind, or address the problem.  Our world needs more compassion.

Do not give him/her special treatment -- Many moms I know expect their children with special needs to still share, take turns, and do many other "typical" things.  Do not ask your child to bend over backwards for mine.  Educate them if they ask questions of why it is easier for them, etc. 

Do not limit him/her -- My son is so determined!  I do not believe in limiting him!  As he grows, some things will be harder than others, but if he wants to try I am going to be the first to help him do his best.  I love taking him to play dates and parks because to the average eye he can do things as well as his peers.  Do not treat your child as a breakable piece of glass; they are so much stronger than you give them credit for!  Some days may bring tears or discouragement, but letting them try might bring them joy and accomplishment!

Do not pity him/her (or me) -- I am not raising my son to think he is "different".  In fact I hate the word and other more derogatory terms!  While the label may be true or not, children are who they are!  They are what you help them believe they are.  Amazing, funny, smart, insert your own description here ... if we constantly talk about them and what they cannot do they will face the world with more fear.  Confidence is a liberating quality and children who are built up often succeed!  

"Differences are like freckles, we all have them."  If the world were entirely the same, how boring would that be?  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  Next time someone stares at you, smile at them ... or next time you catch yourself staring at a "different" situation, stop yourself and acknowledge them, it is so much better to the recipient than being ignored or turned from awkwardly.  A smile is a universal language every can speak, so I encourage you to smile more! 

The Life of a Therapy Mom

"You will look back on therapies, appointments, sleepless nights, tears, triumphs, milestones, equipment, ignorance, struggle, strength ... and you will say with certainty ... It was ABSOLUTELY worth it."

What is a therapy mom you ask?  I'm sure there are many personal descriptions, each mom (or dad) could tell you their own version.  My life consists of the most beautiful little boy, who attends Occupational therapy 2 x per week, Physical therapy 1 x per week and Speech 1 x per week.  In the big scheme of things, I can see that he is making huge progress and I know that this is just our "normal" for now.  However, if you have ever been a therapy mom, you know its exhausting, its unfair and it just down right gets old.  Life is scheduled around appointments, not play dates or preschool or fun ... but therapy, doctors visits, lab tests, or whatever it may be.  If you are a therapy mom, you also know therapy doesn't end when you walk out of the building, it is hours upon hours poured into playing the right way, putting weight on the correct extremity, practicing sounds and words over and over, among many other tools and tricks we learn along the way.  

It hasn't always been sunshine and rainbows, I have shed countless tears, poured my heart out to dear friends, my husband, and doctors.  I have been angry that my little boy has to know what an AFO is, or that he has been casted for weeks to participate in Constraint Induced Movement Therapy ... but today I want to encourage you!!  Therapy does get better.  A year and a half later, I am stronger emotionally and physically and because of that I am more determined to help him be the best HE can be.  My son walks, runs, jumps, attempts to play with two hands, is trying to say words and knows sign language.  But even more than those things, he is overall healthy and happy.  Like many toddlers he is defiant, has tantrums, loves to read, color on walls, and do all the silly things toddlers do ... and to me he is absolutely perfect when I look at him, because he is mine!

When you are having a bad day ... remember it is OK.  Cry, scream, eat a cookie, drink some wine ... and then remember that tomorrow is a new start.  My biggest inspiration is knowing my son will see how I think of him and treat him and if I strive to show him how amazing he is, I know he will grow up with compassion and a belief that he can do anything.