"Happiness, not in another place, but this place ... not for another hour, but this hour." Walt Whitman As 2017 approaches, I keep thinking about moments. I could look back over 2016 and think of it as a whole, but it is really the moments that get me, broken down into segments. Some are happy and exciting, some are emotional, some were devastating -- in the moment -- but they all made up a year I would not give back as it defines my life and all that I have, all that I am, and all that I want to be.
The holidays approached quickly this year and before I knew it Thanksgiving was over and it's already New Years Eve. Between these dates I had some really great moments. Black Friday shopping with a girlfriend, where lets face it, I bought more for myself than gifts for other people. However, I made up for that when my co-workers and I spent a day shopping for two families we adopted. Another Sunday morning was spent delivering those gifts and holding back tears as I realized how very lucky my life is, and how little other people have. Office Christmas parties, ladies holiday party, among other moments. Over Christmas, Jason and I decided to spend the holiday in Flagstaff, Arizona where we received over a foot of snow and to Lincoln’s delight we went sledding and his first true experience in snow was delightful. I also went skiing, which was the perfect Christmas morning gift. A week before Christmas we had received some news that -- in the moment -- felt devastating. My little family needed relaxation and peace. Today, I am working at Mayo Clinic ... and when asked what my New Years Eve plans are - I say, "I am working". Again a moment in time that I am OK with. I love my job. For those out there that think working tonight sounds awful, I want to be clear that I choose to work. And during those moments I experience more joy, tears and appreciation than most. Sure there are times of frustration as well, but somewhere out there tonight a single mom is your waitress, a dad is away from home in the oil field providing for his family, a friend is serving your drinks, a grandmother is fighting cancer alone - you name it tonight someone is sacrificing their celebration so you can ring in the New Year or maybe praying that they live to celebrate another.
Weeks before Christmas I could be found on my couch or at the local Starbucks, studying for a national test for work. I took two this year, which totals 4 national certifications I am proud of. However, in the moment, I was procrastinating, stressing and even complaining about the last one. The day I took it and passed I felt relief and joy. Did it change my ability to scan, did it change how I treat my patients ... no, but the moment was gratifying. For my career, minus a specialty in musculoskeletal (MSK) imaging, I am as certified as I can be and I am proud of my accomplishments. I am going to enjoy the moment before I set another goal.
If I recap the rest of 2016, I don't even know where to start. The highlights were taking my mom to the grand canyon, playing with my sisters kids in Pine Canyon, meeting new friends and growing those friendships, breaking out of my comfort zone to really understand other people, picking out interior designs for Vedadi Homes, being accepted for constraint induced movement therapy at Children’s of Alabama, writing my blog, giving gifts away to others, taking family pictures, learning to tell my husband how much I appreciate him, because I do and don't always say or show it, hosting ladies night, working out, potty training my son, and just overall staying true to myself even when it meant losing a friend or disappointment -- really the moments individually are endless and it is difficult to remember them all. I went skiing in Telluride with my sister, had multiple friends visit Arizona, fed a giraffe, killed my flowers, completed a sprint triathlon where I think I almost sunk to the bottom of the lake. So many moments I could keep going!
"Live today. Not yesterday. Not tomorrow. Just today."
I have had countless conversations lately about goals and plans, futures and fears with friends and coworkers. In my heart ever since having my son, losing my dad, and my mom surviving cancer, I am a big believer in living for today. We could all worry about tomorrow, plan ten years out or regret yesterday, but what good does any of that do?!? At work yesterday we were chatting about recertification's in ten years and I jokingly said, I might not even be alive in ten years. My co-worker who I am very close too didn't appreciate my humor, but the reality is I don't know what tomorrow brings, let alone ten years from now. In my head I hope to be amazingly fit (like model fit, ha ha), a supportive golf mom (or whatever sport or club (chess maybe) Lincoln chooses), a successful business owner, a friend someone doesn't want to lose, an everyday woman who started a successful charity for kids with hemiplegia -- we could all write a list of hopes and dreams, but the take home message is we only have today! We only have THIS MOMENT. Do not look so far ahead in your life that you miss the small moments.
People I was or am close too have reminded me lately, that human nature is a very selfish thing. People get caught up in their own lives and forget to ask about others for months. I pride myself on having amazing friends and family and I try to connect with them routinely, but even I can be selfish. Recently I missed the fact that one of my dear friends had a job promotion! I missed her moment! Another friend of mine asked me last week how potty training was going and I thought to myself, he's been in underwear for two months, where have you been? I should call my husbands aunt more as we are all she has left, and with that being said I should call my mom more just because I can. We could all do a better job of slowing down, caring about others and living our life in the moment. In that regard I am grateful for my sister lately who has made a weekly effort to face time my son. Did I think of that? No. Thankfully she did.
To live in the moment, means being conscious, aware and in the present with all of your senses. Not dwelling on the past, or being anxious about the future. I read recently that seizing each moment in life allows us to prolong its value and make it more meaningful. Not sacrificing quality for quantity. While we all have goals for 2017, myself included, I want to stop and make every moment count even more this year. I want to embrace everything I do and give attention to areas that deserve it. Human nature believes in big expectations, but I want to slow down and enjoy the process -- whatever that may be. What is the saying -- "stop and smell the roses". The normal me would set a fitness goal, or say I am going back to school this year, but the reality is I want to see where 2017 takes me, I want to be pleasantly surprised with where my passion leads!
In closing, I wanted to share another thought I read - "Living in the moment means letting go of the past and trusting the future". Is there an area of your life that was painful, difficult, maybe a grudge being held? As always, I am only as real as I am honest, and I have these areas in my life. Part of living fully in the moment is letting go of those things, or our future will continue to be the same as the past. 2016 I wanted to find my optimistic side, the positive side of who I am and for the most part I am proud to say I succeeded! That isn't to say I did not fail, or cry or lose my temper but I had some major moments that I handled with more grace and class than I every would have before. I hope that I encouraged someone along the way. We owe it to ourselves to make every moment count, because as we ring in the new year tonight -- as we welcome 2017, there is no point looking back on the what if's, the why not’s, the should have beens -- instead hold your head high, and decide to cheers the moment! Happy New Years to all my friends and readers. May 2017 bring you amazing moments!